ഇനി എത്ര ദൂരം

 

Beyond survival — A Journey of a Single Mother

 There was a time in her life when darkness felt more familiar than light. She was a wife, a daughter-in-law, and eventually... just a mother trying to hold on.

The toxicity she endured in her married life was not something she had ever imagined would become her reality. The whole life became upside down, but she adjusted. She compromised. She remained silent for six long years, hoping that things would change—for her family, for her kids, and for the marriage she once believed in. But the more tried to adjust, she realized that the life she dreamt about once in her life was entirely different. She realized that the adjustment and compromise which was supposed to be from both sides, was just a one way path. The more she tried to fit into a mold someone else created for her, the more she began to lose herself. She began to lose her physical and mental health.

Eventually, she decided to walk away—not because it was easy, but because staying would have destroyed her.

Raising two kids alone was never part of her dream. There were days when the financial strain kept her awake all night. Her parents never asked about anything but just became her backbone. It was the time when she realized the colors of true friends who supported her like anything. She went for counseling—not because she was weak, but because she needed to find strength again. The toughest time was when her daughter longed for a home with both parents, not knowing the truth behind the broken pieces she was trying to hold together. 

The quote which says, ‘only our pillows know the amount of pain we hide from the world’ was literally true for her. Everyone around her blamed her. “You should’ve adjusted more,” they said. But they didn’t see the parts of her she had already sacrificed. They didn’t hear the harsh words she swallowed or witness the loneliness she endured while surrounded by people.

Yet, in the middle of all the chaos, her biggest healers were her children. Their tight hugs, their innocent smiles, and the way they looked at her with unconditional love—those were her medicines. She wasn’t perfect. Some days she was broken, some days she was angry, she was frustrated, and many days she was too sensitive. But she showed up, every single day, for them.

She did everything she could to give them a better life—even if she was still healing. She didn’t want sympathy. Not for her, and certainly not for her kids. She always believed that her kids will not be in better condition if they were with both their parents. The only thing she wanted and still wants is dignity.

Being a single mother isn’t a role she chose, but it's a role she has embraced with all her heart. And while the journey is far from easy, it is filled with purpose. Her children are not just her responsibility—they are her strength, her reason for living, and her future.

To every woman walking a similar path: you are more than the judgments thrown at you. You are not broken—you are rebuilding. And one day, your children will look at you and say, “Thank you for never giving up.”

And truly, that will be everything..

Rayhana. K. 

Assistant Professor of Business Administration

Al Shifa College of Arts and Science, Keezhattoor, Perinthalmanna.