Let Them Live in Their Normality

  

LGBTQ is recognized as a community now. Society began to admit the fact that they are really a part of society and they have their own identity apart from measuring them with the criterion of males and females. The Malayalam movie, Kathal emphasizes the need for recognition for this community. We do not know whether things are easily accepted by the people as it is projected in the film. Anyway, it is pleasing to see that this film gives room to this community.

Here I am not going to talk about the film, but the LGBTQ community and their status a decade ago. I recall the fate of two persons and their lives in my locality. We can name the first one as Sainu. He was a young man of twenty-five or twenty-seven, when I began to see him… from the beginning of my memory…. He usually wore loose shirts and lungi. His hair was so curly and covered his neck. He was my neighbor and very close to my family, especially with my mother, aunt, and the other women from the neighborhood. He was working as a salesperson in a textile shop. He sold saris and nighties among these women, as a kind of homedelivery. These women from my neighborhood will look for him during the weekends for his arrival to explore the vision of new saris and nighties. Sainu came with a bundle of colorful ladies’ apparel. We, the kids also gathered around him. Even the vision of those clothing and fancy items is so pleasing.

He sold clothes in the installment scheme. It was so convenient to those ladies as all of them were homemakers, or jobless, according to the male perspective. He was one among the ladies and very friendly with them. I have never seen him in the company of males with easiness except with Santhosh, our next character. Sainu used to leave the ladies when men came into the situation. I remember what he said once when one of the male relatives of Subaidatha visited her… Subaidatha was a regular customer of him. She was the richest lady among our neighbourhood. Her husband was abroad. Subaidatha’s home was opposite to ours. Sainu was going to Subaidatha's home. From the gate itself, he saw the visitors there. He turned his path to our home and enquired about the visitors and told us that he was going without seeing Subadatha. My mother asked why and his reply made them laugh…  He said,

“No.. Chechi….it seems there are men….. I feel mousiness in their presence.” This was often used as a phrase to make fun of him later by our neighbourhood members. As a kid, I did not feel anything wrong but enjoyed their joke. Only at my post-graduation, when this queer theory and all the LGBTQ+ issues were studied, I felt pity for Sainu. I began to recognize his identity.

The later life of Sainu was a little pathetic. Naturally, he was compelled to get married. As per the natural law, no one can live lonely…. Everyone should get married and have children and spend the rest of their life quarreling with their spouse and struggling to nourish and educate their children. This is a natural law, which is practiced in our society from the prehistoric time onwards. When this natural law approached Sainu, he rejected the idea at first.. But he agreed with his family later. That marriage was not a long-lasting one. Both of them showered complaints on one another… Lastly separated… Both of them wasted their two or three years on quarreling with each other.

After watching the movie, Kathal, I was reminded of Sainu…With some prejudices and the so-called ‘practicing of normality.’  No one at that time considered their normality. Only heterosexuals were normal. All the other communities were brought down to this narrow normality thereby making them abnormal. Even now people often say that these people have psychological problems. It should be treated and cured. This mentality spoiled two lives.

The next one is Santhosh. Both Sainu and Santhosh were good friends. People often called them Ammini, feminine. The Mainstream excluded them. Like Sainu, Santhosh also enjoyed female friendships but stood away from males. When he was in the 10^th standard, a dance teacher, who came to train the students for the school anniversary programmes, identified his potential. She trained him to dance and he danced well and she offered him training without fees. This changed his life. He became a professional dancer and later Santhosh learned the art of make-up. Now he is working as the making artist of a famous Malayalam heroine. He attained financial independence through his job. Now he can look after his family so that they can forget the shame caused by his birth.

Both these instances are not unique, but common in our society. The society will alienate them. It is appreciable that now a little bit of change has happened in this attitude of people. Movies like Kathal, Njan Marykutty, Call Me by Your Name, etc. remind us about the presence of this community. Nothing is expected to be done except to give them space for themselves and identify their normality. They are also the rightful heritors of this earth. Let them live in their normality, never adopt them into our normality.

Radhika. A, Assistant Professor of English, Al Shifa College of Arts and Science, Kizhattoor, Perinthalmanna